Children and sharing

Do you think your child is selfish? He refuses to share toys with his sibs, and his friends? He goes mad when someone attempts to touch something of his own?

Understanding the problem:

Sharing is not an inborn trait; children learn to share by time, as they grow. Life situations and experiences also help them learn to share; you also have a very important role.

At what age children learn to share?

Children till the age of three to four years are not expected to share things easily, it will take lots of effort to make them able to do that.

Recent study involving children at the age of 3-4 years revealed that only 8.7% of them were able to share things with other children. On the other hand, 45% of children aged 7-8 years were able to share things like candies with others in the same study. As children grow they learn how to be fair, and they believe more in equality, and so become more able to share things.

Generally at any age children prefer to share things with children they know, like their friends, relatives, and children of the same school, rather than with strangers.

Children having no sibs are more able to share things than children having sibs. The presence of another child at the house elicits more problems about sharing.

How can you help your child learn about sharing?

-You should not tell him he is selfish when he refuses to share, instead you should tell him that you are not happy with the way he behaved like the way he fought or the way he screamed.

-You should teach him to respect the other's privacy and to ask 1st before playing or burrowing someone else's property. You should also understand that the child is not expected to share everything he's got. If a toy or an item of clothing belongs to the child he is not expected to share it unless he wants to do.

-If the kids are fighting for a toy, put it away and let them know they can't have it back unless they learn how to share it.

-You can use family meetings to discuss with children their feelings about sharing, and teach them how to share things for example by rotating popular family toys like video games between them.

-You have to teach them that sharing is not only about toys and things, it's also about feelings and ideas.