Tips for Staying Close to Your Children When You're Away

Whether it’s because of a parenting plan or a business trip, parents and children must sometimes deal with extended periods of separation.  Psychologist Ann Dunnewold, Ph.D., author of Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box, gave the following tips to Parenting magazine re: how to stay close to your children when you can not physically be with them:

1. Use your cell phone. Although the idea of entrusting a cellular device to your 6-year old is appalling to many parents, allowing a child to have access to his or her mother or father’s voice is a simple and effective way to stay connected.  If your child’s other parent is with the child while you are not, simply ask them to cooperate and lend the child their phone.  A study conducted at University of Wisconsin-Madison shows that girls who talked to their mothers via phone felt as calm and happy as those whose mothers were physically available for hugs.  Hearing a parent’s voice lowers a child’s cortisol (stress hormone) and released oxytocin, a hormone associated with physical contact.
2. Make a recording. If you know you’re going to be stuck in a closed conference all day, make a recording of yourself reading your child’s favorite story or singing his or her favorite song and have it available for the child to hear.
3. Log on to Skype. If you can’t, leave videos of yourself for your child to watch whenever he or she wants.  This is similar to the voice recording tactic.
4. Hang around. Even if you can’t stay, leave your scarf, cardigan, or something the child associates with you with him or her.  Make sure it’s an item the child has seen you wearing often.  This method isn’t effective if you simply dig out an old sweater from the closet.  The item should smell, feel, and look familiar to the child.

Remember, just because you’re away doesn’t mean you can’t feel close to your kids.  The bond you share with your children is too strong to be broken by distance.